Rap & Revelrye: “Sally Forever After,” by Brian McMahon Gallagher

Sally loved Cinderella
Belle – Ehh – was blind
Snow White too kind
Aurora just lazy
Pocahontas? Fucking crazy
Her nana was a tree
Bit doolali
said Sally
But a crystal carriage?
And a perfect marriage?
Sally even had minging sisters
Mister charming would be harming them for her for sure
She was convinced her first child would be prince
Prince Ward

Fast forward
Teenager for a final year
Natural hair colour to care for
First time in forever
Five girls out tonight
Pre-drinking right
Quick and wincing
Tesco Prosecco
Shit loads of cider
And wine for hipster Pocahontas

She made the motion
Grand Social
Hot Sprockets
Naggin-filled pockets
Bearded lads with v-necks and furry chests
Painted on jeans
Rolled seams
and cigarettes
And the bachelorettes?
Doc Martins
and yips
Hip are E’s
and freebies from Snowy’s boyf?
Yes please.

The drop.         The bop.          The stop.

The stumble.
The tumble.
The fumble.

To stand because the band are shit but the hit’s just starting
Sally’s parting from view of the girls
And into the view of garcons
March on does she
Towards the dance floor
Síos staighre
Delirah are the buachallí to see
More than their money’s worth
Dirt are the fellas
But Belle has pulled a rather pull-able lad
Sure she’d be mad not to get a few free drinks
Sally thinks
She hooks in one after another
until another comes from the same bloke
Coked he is
but aware
of how fucked this princess is

Come on says he
after a few rubs on her thighs and rolls of her eyes

Fuck off says she, then a pause and a think.
He rubs his nose, she chews her cheek,

Sure fuck it, why not?
The thought in her head is not yolo as much
I dunno
After all, she is off her face in the first place for a reason
A stranger stroll is happening
As bachelors talk on bachelors walk
jips his lips with insincere script
ripped from previous mischievous nights on the prowl
The aul triangle is jingle jangling in his jocks
Abby street laneway
Bare up from her docks as the clock on his cock strikes twelve
Not the worst
Wouldn’t come first
Well he kinda did
An average fuck
A thank you kiss and good luck before the miss of a night link
She waits and has to think, again
Who was that?
Then back indoors to hide with her high
Before the comedown from hell and the constant one inside
You see Sally’s noggin is boggin’ her down but who want to hear about it?
She’s dropping and bopping and fucking around to make herself even doubt it
Home at five
Vomits her pills
Cries
And won’t get up
Prays she could be Cinderella without the evil step Ma
Hopes to remember his name, that fella, and Prince’s Da

 

Illustration by Lenny Buckley

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